Here's a cleaned-up, more serious version of a table that originated as a shitpost, and somehow sparked a deluge of fantastic anonymous additions (not listed here).
d6: SNAKE HALF
1. Glimmering cobra, shifting colors
2. Tiny black-and-grey rattlesnake
3. Red-streaked boa
4. White albino cave snake
5. Made of fire
6. Quetzacoatl: green scales covered in blue feathers
d6: HUMAN HALF
1. Pale, thin, missing a fang
2. Chubby, wears immense earrings
3. Long braided hair, covered in tattoos
4. Wears colorful scraps of fabric, can probably snap you in half
5. Skeleton
6. Old, ashen skin, has a jewel embedded in their tongue (100 gp)
d6: PERSONALITY
1. Always grinning, trickster type
2. Regal and with a flair for the dramatic
3. Patient guardian of dark secrets
4. Sleepy and outrageously bored
5. Manic and dangerously excitable
6. Wistful and brooding
d6: POWERS
1. Thought-reading (ESP 1/day)
2. Hypnosis (Charm Person 1/day)
3. Shapeshifting (turn into a snake or human 3/day)
4. Save-or-die poison (at will)
5. Oracle's visions (grants DM fiat prophecies and/or rolls 2d20 at dawn, can replace rolls with the results)
6. Just being way too fucking big (increase size category by 1, +50% HD)
d6: RECRUITING AS AN ALLY, OR IF YOUR IDIOT PLAYERS WANT TO ROLL TO SEDUCE
1. No. Their interest in your group is fleeting and mortals die so quickly
2. Maybe. Amused by your antics, remains with you out of curiosity
3. Yes. Interested, but is creepy and controlling
4. Yes. Actually genuinely enjoys hanging out
5. Yes. Will eat you in your sleep
6. Yes. Will eat you in your sleep (absentmindedly, will let you out with an apology)
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